Your spouse wouldn’t like all things to go smooth. Bathroom, clothes, houses, etc. are not being looked after. Your spouse always tends to ignore your views and tries to break the promises.
Your spouse refuses to quit smoking, wants to constantly watch TV, and continues sitting in front of the computer. What is more, you find yourself nagging.
Can you face it?
Knowing something about nagging may be helpful.
Here are some words that can help you understand the meaning of it.
Coaxing, demanding, fault finding, complaining, hair splitting, nit-picking, overcritical, pressing, unrelenting and so on are the things that you may often be faces with.
See its vicious routes
If you know the negative impact it will have in your marriage, it will help you become a better spouse. Nagging will take control of you and force you into an unknown area, where neither of you will be able to find a way to save each other from the tremendous whole. You will then give up any further attempt to get back. The more you nag, the more negative changes will have to be faced from your spouse’s part emotionally, physically and mentally.
Why nagging seldom work?
Nagging will make your spouse resentful, defensive and disrespectful.
As nagging is perceived as criticism, your spouse is liable to change his/her stand at the time of necessity, and this tendency will make you more critical in dealing with family matters. Your words will probably be ineffective if your spouse views your points through her/his resentful eyes.
How to Avoid Being a Nag
Stay away from blaming.
Avoid attacking and criticizing.
Never try to manipulate.
If you are a person always trying to make your spouse feel stupid, you are going to fall into the deep pit from where you will not be able to escape. Life will be full of disobedience.
Before giving into your frustration, you should help your spouse learn how to deal with critical points.
Let Both of You Bring in a Positive Approach
Sharing your feelings is the best way of attracting your spouse to you.
Strong and brief statements from one side will help to avoid long lectures from the other side.
Making ultimatums is not practical in a marriage. We are humans. There may be pluses and minuses.
Your actions will be more attractive if you can avoid saying, “You always” and “You never.” Instead, try to say, “Would You” or “Will You.” This act may help you for a number of occasions because there are subtle differences between those words.
If you are trying to be a perfect man by helping in day-to-day work of your spouse’s domestic work, no other action will be better than this.
The hard to break situation may be minimised at a glance if you are free to talk with an open mind.
Acknowledgement of your different perspectives means you are going to live happily. Try to recognise the needs of your spouse, and discuss on how to find a solutions.
No doubt, if you stop nagging, the very action is helpful for both of you. Try to be at your best. Try to accept the fact that you are always ready to create a home environment. Your tendency to evaluate yourself will be useful for making a change in you. See whether you are willing to accept your spouse’s request or views on something useful for your family. If you hesitate to accept, what happens was really an indifference to your spouse in all matters in the future. So without any delay you are to stop that behaviour. Instead, try to understand what your spouse has said, and at least a sympathetic response in a well pleasant manner will help both you and your spouse to know your limitations better.